It seems like body image week here at For Those About To Shop. I didn’t intend it to be, it’s just the topics coming up lately seem to be centred around that issue. We started the week with a wonderful guest post by blogger Cynthia Cheng on the challenges of being petite (shorter than 5’4″). Then yesterday, I presented a counterpoint to a beautiful post by Ashe Mischief on why Christina Hendricks has helped improve her body confidence. While appreciating the positive point of view, a voluptuous figure held up as an ideal actually lowers my body confidence and the comments section shows I”m not alone.
“Women should NOT be made to feel as though we are less than ideal simply because our dimensions don’t match up to the current favorite body type of the moment.” –Chrissy
Portia de Rossi has been all over the celebrity news this past week with her confessional memoir “Unbearable Lightness” which describes the details of her anorexia, an eating disorder which she battled since she was 12. I was a big fan of Arrested Development and it was fairly obvious to me then that she had an eating disorder, but I didn’t think too much of it. When I thought about women who starved themselves to attain thinness part of me felt it was vanity gone wild. Another part felt like it’s nobody else’s business if someone seeks to attain a certain body weight–if they want to be thin, let them. Who are they harming?
Crystal at Chanel resort 2010. Believe it or not, this is plus-size.
De Rossi’s story reminds me of another anorexia memoir I read recently by model Crystal Renn, Hungry. My review of the book is still one of my most widely-read posts and it truly opened my eyes to the madness of this disease. Yes, anorexia is a disease and it is a disease of the mind. It is hard to contemplate, but these girls (and some boys) just don’t see themselves as the rest of us do. They never feel they are skinny enough and that is why they starve themselves until they die. If they are lucky enough to recognize that they will die if they continue on their path, as did Crystal Renn when she decided to re-discover her natural weight and reinvent herself as a plus model, only then is there hope for them.
“It’s really dangerous to think that what you look like is who you are.”–Portia de Rossi
In de Rossi’s case, her brother’s tearful intervention in 1999 was not enough to stop her weight obsession. It took many more years for her to finally come to terms with the sickness herself. I see shocking similarities between Crystal’s and Portia’s ordeals, the details of which overwhelm me with sadness and bewiderment. It brings up many questions for me about the sickness of a society that has its young women believing that the way they appear to others is more important than their own health, happiness, well-being, and sense of self. In situations like these, the desires of the self are completely pushed away and ignored in favour of what the victim perceives as desirable by others.
The L’Oreal employee who criticized de Rossi for being too big for the size 4 suits must take some responsibility as should the stylist who once praised her for being so thin. However, those women are also victims of a society that says what women look like is more important than anything else they have to offer. These eating disorders do not arrive out of nowhere. From what I can see, it would take a very strong person NOT to have an eating disorder in the modelling and mainstream acting industries in the U.S. Both Crystal and Portia said their thinness was encouraged, praised and whenever they gained a little bit of weight (still rendering them very thin by anyone’s standards) they were chastized.
If you grow up with a need to be accepted and loved, it would be easy to fall into the trap of an eating disorder. These women were addicted to exercise as well as food deprivation. I know how awful it feels to work out on an empty stomach. I did it once and I’ll never do it again. I’ve made my trainer wait ten minutes while I ate a power bar or downed a smoothie before our workout so I wouldn’t feel that fatigued during a session again. These women worked out for hours at a time with little more than sugar free gum in their stomachs for years. To me that kind of self-deprivation and punishment must be the product of a sick mind rather than notions of vanity.
After hearing these stories, I believe anorexia is indeed a product of a sick society, one which judges women so harshly on their appearance and which through an inundation of unrealistic media images, convinces them that they need to look a certain way to be beautiful or even accepted. It makes them objectify their own bodies to the point where they are ignoring all its signals in the pursuit of thinness until they eventually starve themselves to death unless they get help. I admire de Rossi for her honesty in bringing forth this memoir and hope her story helps other women suffering from this terrible affliction.
17 Comments
Trackbacks
- Body Image Exhibit at Science Centre | For Those About To Shop
- LINKS À LA MODE: THE IFB WEEKLY ROUNDUP 11/18 |
- IFB’s Links a la Mode features For Those About To Shop | For Those About To Shop
- Links a la Mode « Heather's Design Blog
- Body Image Contest seeks solutions | For Those About To Shop
- Kelly Ripa’s Hip | For Those About To Shop
- Anonymous
This post really made me both sad for women like Renn and de Rossi, and sick with our society on a whole. When I made my post about Hendricks, I think it was this sort of mentality that I really wanted to celebrate– Hendricks is a woman whose weight is criticized, whose clothing choices are as well, and she really kind of gives Hollywood & the naysayers a big middle finger by saying, “I love my body and you’re not going to change that.” It makes ME want to say, “Eff you to magazines, press, Hollywood, stylists (etc) for making ME not feel beautiful. Eff you for making woman, no matter what their size, not feel beautiful, womanly, and proud of themselves.”
In a way, it makes me sick that this was the message we were raised with (my parents were always trying to put me on diets, as early as I can remember), and I pray all the time that my nieces aren’t raised hearing that same kind of message.
Thank you for this post though– it inspires me more to read both womens memoirs.
I think if we all did what Hendricks does and give society the middle finger when they criticize us, attitudes would change very quickly. There is great freedom in not caring what other people think. Thank God, I never heard the word diet in my household. I also think that’s why I’m a bit naive about this stuff to this day. I was absolutely shocked when I heard Renn’s and de Rossi’s stories. Starving yourself when you’re surrounded by abundance baffles me.
Sadly, I grew up in a household where my parents were dieting me as early as I could remember (as opposed to teaching me how to eat well, why exercise was important, etc). I wish more women would be able to grow up naive about these issues, and grow up just in families where they were taught to love their bodies!
Laura and Ashe, it’s interesting that the blog post and your discussion both point to feedback mechanisms that reinforce the idea of thinness as the ideal, whether that feedback comes from strangers or family. Like Laura, I grew up in a household that never stressed dieting. My mom and dad cooked all our meals and there was always an emphasis on eating well and being healthy. But this healthy approach to living also coincided with natural slimness and extremely high metabolism in all of us, so there was never any perceived need to diet. Sometimes I wonder, if I hadn’t been naturally thin growing up, whether I’d have issues with food today.
Yes, Lisa, that’s true! I’m not sure if I’m right but I think the reason I don’t obsess about food is that my parents never made a big deal of it and that may be also why I don’t gain weight. I don’t romanticize food that much at all. Except maybe chocolate
I read the excerpt in people and was incredibly moved by it. The most shocking part was that people would tell her she looked so good–that passage followed a listing of what she ate everyday, which was only 300 calories worth of food.
Yes, that’s very scary and that’s why I believe society has to take responsiblity for supporting this sick and dangerous behaviour. 300 calories a day! Even for one meal that is not enough! It is a wonder she survived. I also learned after publishing that she has already contracted osteoperosis which is more common in elderly women (brittle bones), and she did not have her period for a whole year before she sought help. It’s tragic and she’s lucky to be alive.
I applaud your “body image week” of posts, whether or not it was initially intentional. As women I think we all have struggles at times with our bodies, or suffer from a little body dysmorphia. Believe me I know I have my “fat” days, or days I look at photos I took for an outfit post and can’t help thinking “wow, my arm looks huge” or “ew, I have three chins,” and in part I think we can thank society for some of our personal warped body issues. I know personally, as a blogger, when I put my photos out there for criticism, it sometimes forces me to take a step back, take a deep breath, and remember that you don’t need to be a stick to be fashionable and stylish. I hope that as bloggers we can remind our readers and each other of that fact. Portia de Rossi’s bravery to open up about her struggles is inspiring and I can’t wait to get my hands on her book.
xo
Thank you, Sarah. In a sense I feel we as fashion writers are condoning the unrealistic ideal if we don’t offer alternatives or speak up against it.
what an insightful post. i think we all must bear some responsibility. why cant we as women accept our shapes as long as we’re in good health our size shouldnt matter xx
This was an excellent post. I have not read Portia de Rossi’s memoir, but I did happen to read a chunk of her People Magazine interview and it was very telling, much more so than other flippant trashy tabloid stories covering the same topic.
In my opinion this obsession with thin-ness seeps into many (if not every) parts of society, not just modeling and acting. How many times do coaches “encourage” athletes to cut weight before a competition? How many well-intentioned mothers go on diets and worry about “good foods” and “bad foods” unaware of the message they are sending to their daughters? On top of this people are constantly bombarded by advertising messages that play on their insecurities.
How sad is it, in this day and age that with Oprah’s success and all she has achieved we still focus on her weight and read articles about her struggle? Why is this SO important to us, isn’t her career and achievements more newsworthy? There are so many aspects to this topic I could write pages and pages, but instead I’ll leave you with 2 books that offer some insight into the role society plays in purveying the message that thin is in; Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body by Courtney E Martin & The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf.
Thank you for your comment! I remember reading the Beauty Myth in a university course. It’s a very important text. I believe we must start from the ground up. The reason we care so much about Oprah’s weight is because SHE does. It’s extremely difficult in the face of so much social pressure but it does start with us. Be a mother who never says diet (I am and so was my mother). I believe we can change things if we just keep talking about it and refusing to give in.
I can’t imagine what these women have to go through.. Not because I’m fat but because of my high metabolism. But food deprivation is absolutely not an answer – it’s suffering just to think of it. Coco Rocha admitted she used to starve just to please people around her. But 10 people says 10 things differently. And I don’t think being a size 4 is a big of deal either.
I agree Shebelle. It’s the suffering of the mind that bothers me most. Doing without food isn’t even the worst of it, although that’s bad enough; it’s the mental torture they put themselves through that isn’t really quantifiable but leaves them in a personal hell.
Oh wow, I even cried. This is a very very big problem. I think, that if mega stores carry from Small to XL as the “norm” why would someone focus so much on being a small. But, what’s even more scary is that tweens are now more and more into fashion and wanting to be thin. I can’t possible imagine what it must be like for a 13 year old going through some of this.
Great great post!
<3
xo
I cried too when I heard her story. It’s really sad and so unnecessary. It is scary for young girls because they are still growing and need their nutrients!
Hello There,
My name is Tess and I’m a Professional Blogger. I have more than 3+ yrs of experience writing for the web and have covered plenty of interesting topics.
I came across your blog and was wondering if you would be interested in allowing me to write relevant & useful topics on your blog at no cost.
At this point of my writing career, I simply want to get more visibility for my writing and I will write for free as long as you are fine with me adding a small author bio section following the blog post about myself.
Please let me know if you are interested and if you’d like for me to submit a sample blog post for your approval.
Thanks a bunch,
Tess