Have you read The Cut, New York Magazine’s fashion blog? I might be revealing my ignorance when I confess I only discovered it in September upon hearing editor Amy Odell speak at a conference. The Cut’s frequent entries are quick and punchy, ruthlessly up-to-date (Amy refreshes her feed every twenty minutes to stay on top of things), and cheeky in the extreme. If you are a thinking fashion follower who wants a fresh angle on over-reported fashion “news” The Cut is for you.
While perusing The Cut today I discovered the most relevant fashion blog I’ve encountered in a long time: The Man Repeller by New York’s Leandra Medine. Dedicated to such “sartorial contraceptives” as harem pants, turbans and jewellry that doubles as weaponry, the blog takes a light-hearted look at an issue recently covered quite seriously by a male writer in U.S. Vogue:
For whom do women dress: men or themselves?
The Vogue writer was baffled by women’s style choices, shocked that we would wear garments designed for anything other than attracting a man. Perhaps because almost everything straight men do is designed to impress women (my personal theory which has lots of backup including Ari Onassis’ statement: “all the money in the world is meaningless without women”), he couldn’t get his head around the idea that maybe women don’t dress for men.
Straight men tend to respond to anything that accentuates the female silhouette, that being classic body-conscious (but not necessarily revealing) garb. What they do not respond to is anything that covers up “the goods”, including harem pants that obscure where your crotch begins, and epaulets that render your shoulders wider than his. Leandra got the idea for her blog during an outing to Top Shop with a friend:
“We were laughing at how everything was so man-repelling: acid-washed harem pants and enormous shoulder pads.”
In today’s post, Leandra asks the model pictured in a drop-crotch onesie: “Where did you hide your lady bits?”
Indeed there is a fashion movement dedicated to modesty in dress which has nothing to do with culture or religion but bases itself on a personal choice to resist the urge to attract men through clothing. It’s a way to indulge one’s interest in fashion while keeping the focus on what’s inside, one’s personal development. Rachel Dahl, editor at A La Modeste is a leader in this movement and tags her blog “creative cover-up couture”.
Once again fashion reflects societal mores as it did in the 80s when power dressing reflected women’s increasing representation in the work force. Covering up could be seen as another way we use fashion to reflect our ideals.
So, who do you dress for: men or yourself?
My boyfriend actually finds my harem pants (which are also sporty!) very sexy! O_O I don’t think that sexy or not sexy is about what you wear in the end, it’s about what’s inside your dress! And it’s you, so I don’t understand people who really thinks so much about being sexy… in my experience, men drawned only by sexy clothes were also the very very wrong men.
Of course sometimes is nice dressing up, revealing your body to draw men’s attention, but it’s something I do very rarely; it’s only some kind of a way to make fun of them, because men are so dumb they always take the bait when it comes to “women’s goods”.
I like dressing well, stylish and so on, but it’s for my own pleasure, not for the pleasure of a random man who looks at me in the streets. Nor even my partner, who really likes almost everything I put on, because he likes me, not my garments. So I don’t see the point, and I especially don’t see the point in dressing sexy to drag a man, as I said before, it would eventually be the wrong man.
By the way, I don’t think that fashion lately is really about “dressing woman to draw men’s attention”, it’s really more about looking strong, fierce, or interesting. Don’t you think?
I love what you say here. It’s true if you are dressing to attract the opposite sex it’s an attraction built on something very superficial. I have been noticing a look on the runways that is very strong in its femininity, not so much pretty as powerful.
I would like to say me but then I only ever wore my harem pants once after my husband commented on how extremely unflattering they are. I think maybe he was right though as after a glimse of what I looked like from behind – huge!(not something that I want, men or no men). Interesting post though, i guess it might depend on relationship status aswell, once you are married you don’t feel the need to attract a man so probably are more comfortable dressing for yourself.
I love your honest answer and think it’s so funny that your husband was brutally honest as well. I agree it is a tough question to answer. I think I do both, to be honest
If I were married, I would definitely take my husband’s tastes into consideration. Why not?
I definitely dress for myself. Men have differing tastes anyway so what one man finds sexy another man won’t. In my younger days i did used to dress provocatively to attract men but I soon grew out of my foolishness.
Yes, the comments prove you are right. Before I thought they all liked the same thing.
I too stumbled upon this blog from The Cut the other day and it drew me in. Personally, I dress for me, and what makes me feel comfortable. I have a friend who only wears skin tight tops, pants and dresses, and I’m honestly not sure if it’s for her or for men, but that’s just not comfortable for me. I tend to buy tops in large or mediums; I know a small would probably fit, but I like the feel of a looser fit. (Plus I’m a notorious shrinker when doing wash which is why everything is now dried only on no or extra low heat.) That’s not to say I drown myself in too-big burlap-sac-esque clothes, I’m not trying to hide my body, but I will try and balance out skinny jeans with a flowy top, or a fitted top with silky pants that breath. Besides, at the end of the day, if you’re not comfortable in something, it shows and that’s not sexy, but being able to wear your outfit, even dropped-crotch harem pants, with confidence, that’s always sexy in my opinion.
xo
Isn’t it fabulous? The best thing I’ve come across in a while. I am with you on the mixing of loose and tight even just for decency’s sake! When it’s too tight, you’re afraid to even eat a big meal and that’s not comfortable at all.
Oh I hate feeling like a packed sausage after a delicious meal! If I’m going out to eat, sure I want to look good, but I want to be able to EAT. Haha
I do have to say that harem pants aren’t the most flattering fit whether you’re dressing for men or for yourself! But if you personally like the style, go ahead and rock it. I personally (at least I like to think!) dress for myself. Some men aren’t attracted to high fashion, and that’s okay, but that shouldn’t stop you from being bold and trying out new styles! xx
Kathryn
I agree. I’m not a harem pant kind of girl. In fact, although I adore fashion I’m really not that fashion forward, preferring classic styles that accentuate femininity. I like what looks good on me and that doesn’t seem to change.
Harem pants and turbans? I was never attracted to them, but this is actually making me reconsider them… how funny!
Thanks for having me down here and for looking at me as a “leader”. I never thought of myself that way. I just want to do what I love and what I believe in. I’m not really sure if people are getting what I’m saying, either. You’ve showed promise nonetheless! Someone actually thought I wore that XL sweater (with skinnies) because I was trying to hide my flaws and told me I should love myself because flaws are what make us “perfect”. Although that person said these things in good intentions and trying to be sweet, she totally missed the mark completely. My response of course was, “Flaws? What flaws? I love my body!” Hehe. Of course I was kidding because everyone has flaws, and I very well know that of all people.
Anyway, on to the matter of most importance. Although I am not a religious or even a legalistic person per se, I have to admit that I dress this way for God and for the morality that I want to preserve around society (guys really cannot focus on what you are saying when you have an exposed cleavage with a sad push-up bra to support it). Secondly, I dress for my husband, who has every right to gawk at me, but I know he can always do that in private, so I don’t really need to wear sexy outfits in public. Saying “but this is for you, honey” in public to your husband when you don’t even do that in private is just pointless and superficial. Lastly, of course, I do it for myself because I like pretty clothes, and this is how I express myself the most.
I don’t want to say that I try to not attract men with my clothing. I think it’s impossible to not want that (I guess unless of different sexual orientation) or to not even have that happen. Especially as a single, oh yes, I wanted a man so badly, but I really didn’t have to achieve that by putting out myself so cheaply and dressing close to like a stripper. I wanted men to think I’m beautiful and not send out signals that I was easy. I was down that path, and I’m now regretting it. Clothing can really do that so easily even when we try to rationalize it as being worn to please ourselves. It can happen in your brain, but it’s just not going to happen in reality. Some guys just aren’t going to be repelled by high or low fashion (unless they are metro), but we know they are going to be turned on by the obvious display of our goods. It’s a no brainer. They respond to those things immediately. I’m not a man hater, really. I like men because I’m married to one, I grew up with all brothers, and I honestly have had more fun hanging out with guys than girls (or girls who like a variety of things and not just girly girls). So, it’s really a matter of protecting myself and them.
It’s true and it must send a very confusing message to men when you ask to be taken seriously but dress in a way that screams “look at me” in a sexual way. It’s a personal choice and also a healthy challenge to the ego when we know we can easily attract by showing some skin but instead choose to be noticed for other things.
I dress for myself most of the time, but if I go out to dinner with my husband I try to dress for him too. I like feeling sexy, just not at the grocery store. And actually I think shoulder pads are really flattering, and I’m so glad they’re coming back into fashion. Harem pants, I don’t know. Back in the day we called them MC Hammer Pants! I can’t help but singing a refrain from his most famous song “…can’t touch this!” every time I see them.
Love,
Heather
http://heathersdesignblog.com/