There’s a new wave of feminism underway and it’s all about connecting to your feminine power. Women’s movements have historically based themselves on a suppression of femininity and the idea that having what men have will improve our lives. Yes, the feminist movement of the 1960s and the previous suffrage movement earned us many hard-won rights and freedoms, not least of which was the right to vote and to continue working for money after we were married and even after we had children! (Hard to believe that only fifty-odd years ago marriage meant the end of a woman’s career.)
Today, however, women like Marianne Williamson and one of my personal favourites, Dr. Pat Allen, are arguing that the pendulum has swung too far and women have been led to deny their innate femininity in a quest to secure all the privileges men have enjoyed. And at too high a price. The divorce rate keeps rising, job stress is causing infertility in many women of child-bearing age, and with all the material gains women have made the psychological pressure of being forced to act like a man have been taking their toll. Many women are exhausted, angry, and conflicted. We’ve been taught that what we achieve is more important than how we feel which is a dangerous, externally-motivated way to live. Dr. Allen expresses it perfectly when she says:
“Women have to feel good to do good. Men need to do good to feel good.”
Rebecca Grado and Christy Whitman have written a compelling book on the topic of reclaiming feminine power called “Taming Your Alpha Bitch”. The bitch in question demonstrates in four ways: The Forceful Alpha (Meryl Streep’s Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada), The Controlling Alpha (Miranda from Sex and The City), The Competitive Alpha (Friends‘ Monica Geller), and The Disruptive Alpha (Scarlett O’Hara who tends to over-catastrophize and make everything about her).
Although these personas may result in a woman getting what she “wants” it’s at the expense of her own happiness and that of those around her. She tends to push people away and create a climate of anxiety and mistrust rather than peace and joy. She may emasculate her man and evoke fear in the hearts of her children. A real-life example in the book proved that a recovered alpha bitch can impact the lives of all around her. She needs only tap into her innate feminine wisdom and power which is based on an inner knowing that everything will be fine and that we have all we need. We are lovable and acceptable simply as we are not because of what we do or achieve.
The text is accompanied by meditations which you can access for free on the website and as a woman who has listened to more meditations than I can count, these are among the best I’ve ever used. Many of them brought tears to my eyes and made me feel as though I had done something positive for myself just by listening. Quizzes to help you determine whether you fall into one of the four categories and tips and exercises to help you go about getting your needs met in a healthier way round out each chapter.
I highly recommend the book, provocative title notwithstanding, which will be available in the new year: it aligns perfectly with my philosophy that happiness comes from within and cannot be achieved by circumstances outside of oneself. We must be centred in integrity and not like a twig in the breeze, moved this way and that by shifting external circumstances. Strong like tree! As the book warns:
Will you benefit from this book?